HELP is what your heart cries, but no one listens, no one understands, no one is for you, no one believes you.

What if I tell you that I know a way out? I don't always follow my own advice; I don't always pay attention to what my experiences have taught me, but I get better all the time- in slow degrees, it seems- but better.

I had cancer, seizures and a phobia -a crippling, weird phobia that no one could really classify so how could they work with it? And for that matter, the seizures I was sure I had, presented very oddly so that the neurologists doubted that I didn't just have weird panic attacks - emotional and psychological problems, not physical.

I experienced that as a teen and then I experienced it again as an adult but now with kids to deal with while I dealt with my mental and physical illness. Going to hockey and volleyball games when I could barely stand up, I was so sick and in terrified turmoil.

And the Word of Faith ideation didn't help anything. Being convinced that I should just go off my pills because I just needed faith was also a detriment to myself.

Do you want to know how to change, how to be fixed, how to feel normal? I am living proof that it can be done. I am living proof that you can lose faith and then be found again. I am living proof that life is supposed to be abundant and lived, not just survived.

While my book is all memoir / autobiography, I also include approximately 15 short hindsight insights about my situation(s). I have also included approximately 13, one-page poems that describe an angst that regular words sometimes can't.

Why just read another book about conditional happiness and joy? Why not read something that offers a little misery for your company and invites you to cry and feel but then offers the chance to do better and be better?

--- "I have learned to be satisfied with what I have and with whatever happens. I know how to live when I am poor and when I have plenty. I have learned the secret of how to live through any kind of situation..." Paul

I Am. abandoned is available in hardcover, paperback and kindle format as well as will soon be offered in audiobook (and audiobooks are the best in my opinion!) -Blaire LaClare Koop